im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It was confusing and full of hummus
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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