just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
