is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
