the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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