How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
