For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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