My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
