So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My feet surprised me
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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