Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
They have beer where we have blood.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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