it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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