How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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