i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
