around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Congratulations! We have a period
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize