Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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