Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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