Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
