New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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