Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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