he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
