I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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