she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
