I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize