Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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