I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
