just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
