i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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