i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
