Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..

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(905): View more from Toronto

dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends

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(818): View more from California

you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

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(801): View more from Utah

Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.

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(904): View more from Florida

I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that

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(303): View more from Colorado

she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

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(478): View more from Georgia

I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it

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(928): View more from Arizona

I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning

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