I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Help. Why am I so naked?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
