You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
