Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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