At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize