I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
