I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
