Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just found puke in my bra..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
