Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Im part way to drunk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
