When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize