I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
please come you make the beer taste better
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch