You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard