when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.