she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
