does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you win again, gameday.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
