He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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