What did we do last night that was yellow?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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