ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Drake has all the answers
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
