Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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