I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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