i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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