Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
