I feel like abortions should bother me more
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Someone shattered a urinal.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
