Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
