You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
