There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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