I love black thongs
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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