He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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