I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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