Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
